I’ve Chosen. Gay Marriage Is Right and Good.
As an introvert, I spend a lot of time thinking. Thinking about work, thinking about loved ones, thinking about my faith. Thinking about my faith. I do that A LOT. And sometimes it’s exhausting, like I’ve described in previous posts. So I shared that I would take a break from all this thinking, and all this absorption of knowledge. I would try a different way, see if trusting my heart leads me to more peace.
And wow, it sure has. I had this brilliant, rare moment of clarity earlier this week. If you read here a lot, you know that I’m struggling with a lot of hot-topic issues—the biggest one being, of course, homosexuality.
My moment of clarity came when I realized that I’d been believing that God affirms same-sex relationships for a while, and that that thin, glass wall that I talked about in this post consisted of nothing more than fear. Plain, silly, unnecessary fear. Fear of being wrong, fear that I was taking a step away from God. Lots of fear.
And living in fear is no way to live. So I let go of it, and I drove it away, In one fell swoop I banished the fear and embraced a belief that had worked its way into my heart long before I expressed my position verbally.
I affirm gay relationships. Homosexuality? Nothing sinful about it at all.
It took me nearly a year to come this place. A year of crying and praying and debating and thinking and writing and speaking. A year of challenging those around me, and challenging myself. A year of second glances, reexamination of the scriptures I hold dear, a year of frustration when I finally accepted that the Bible doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and not all its teachings are universally applicable.
A year of fury at the Church for indoctrinating homophobia into me, and a year of examining every bit of information about the gay community I’d been exposed to, and realizing with shocking disgust that a lot of it was just stuff the Church wanted me to believe because they can’t handle the idea of a gay person who loves Jesus.
I’ve got a long road ahead of me. Parents and friends who will shake their heads, sad to see that I’ve “compromised scripture” and “fallen into the trap of worldliness.” I know the comments will come, because a lot of my loved ones are still living in that terrible trap of homophobia.
But I feel this need, this desperate longing to educate the people I love, to rescue them from these awful ideas they have about the LGBT community, ideas that I used to have. I’ve got a fire lit inside me, because I’m the sort of person who never does things half way. If I’m going to embrace a gay-affirming interpretation of scripture, I’m also going to put myself out there to defend it, and commit to making sure people know that I won’t stand for homophobic remarks. I won’t stand for hate.
I’ll stand for love. Because in the end, that’s what it’s all about. Being gay is more than attractions, more than feelings….it’s about the way a particular person is hardwired to love. And if I deny love, I’m denying everything Jesus Christ lived and died for.
Disclaimer: Please understand that when I use the word “homophobia” I’m talking about the fear that drives people to believe there’s no way being gay is an orientation. I am NOT talking about the theological position that homosexuality is sinful. I am talking about behaviors, mindsets, words, and opinions about gay people that are inherently harmful.